You ought to be the leading lady in your own life...

Jennifer says: That’s a line from one of my favorite movies “The Holiday”. It stars Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, who is one of my favorite actresses. Basically, both women are unhappy with their lives and they decide to switch homes over the Christmas holiday. While in each other’s homes and very different environments, they open up to new possibilities. One learns to let go of trying to control everything and one learns to take control of her life.

There’s one scene where Kate Winslet’s character, Iris, has dinner with an elderly man she’d just met named Arthur. They talk about why Iris has decided to go on vacation alone during the holidays, which partly has to do with a man she’s devoted years to but is a putz who treats her like he’s doing her a favor. During the course of their conversation, Arthur tells her that she ought to be the leading lady in her own life. Essentially to take control, choose her own destiny and stop sitting in the background allowing things to happen to her.

This scene really strikes me. I can relate to devoting years to a man who really doesn’t devote himself to me. Sitting back, going through the motions of an unsatisfying life while waiting for some divine inspiration to fall from the sky and signal me that my life has begun. My life began some forty years ago and I feel like I’m missing it.

So at the “midway” point it’s time to formulate a plan and head towards a deliberate course. Climb out of the rut that has been my life for so long.

I think a lot of us go through the motions. Settle on a job that is practical but holds no passion. Stay with someone who really doesn’t fulfill us but being with that person is better than being alone. Risk nothing and play things safe.

I also think a lot of us get these sparks of inspiration. Be it a movie or a book, whatever the source, which shows us it’s possible for something better. Something truer. The trick is to keep that feeling and figure out what it is that you really want your life to be. And in doing so, truly becoming the leading lady in your life.